BOHEMIANS IN MY BEDROOM!
by RentFreak
Summary: NOW WITH STUNNING FINALE AND A SHOCKING ENDING! You must R &R. Please? Thanks.
1. The Magic Closet

This is the tale of how our favorite bohemians got into my bedroom and began solving my problems.

THE CLOSET

Once upon a time, a young girl named RentFreak sat on her bed with her homework. It was about 9 pm. She had procrastinated again and had homework in five subjects.

SUDDENELY

FROM HER CLOSET

CAME NOISES.

"Aggh!"

"Mimi! get off me!"

"Oy Vey!"

"There goes Mark, with his Jewish heritage!"

"Ok, WHO HAS MY MOBILE PHONE?"

"Pookie? Pookie, where are you? I'm scared. Poooookie?"

"Roger, put down the darn guitar and help me!"

RentFreak looked up as seven adults emerged from her extremely small closet. She immediatley recognized them from her favorite movie, RENT.

Collins, Angel, Mark, Roger, Joanne, Maureen, Mimi.

"YOU'RE REAL!!!!!!!" she cried quietly.

"YES!" cried the gang.

"YOU'RE IN MY CLOSET!!!"

"YES AGAIN!"

"WHY ARE YOU IN MY CLOSET!!!!!!!"

Joanne, the leader who is awesome and kicks butt, took charge.

"We were sucked through a magic closet while trying to turn on the heat in the loft."

"My closet is a wormhole...loophole...porthole?" said RentFreak.

"Apparently so. Anyway, could you give us a place to stay for the night? Um, without your parents catching us?"

A FEW HECTIC MINUTES LATER IN WHICH THE PHRASE "SNEAKY! LIKE THE SNEAKY SNEAK SNEAKILY SNEAKED TO THE SNEAKING ROOM!" WAS UTTERED

Mimi, using her contortionist powers, was snuggled in the linen closet. Roger and Mark were hidden in the attic, Maureen was in the "bombed out room" (heh heh...it really exists in my house...), Collins and Angel were hidden in the locked-up old front hallway that nobody uses in our house, and Joanne went back into the closet. Lucky lucky Joanne.

And nobody, especially RentFreak, knew how screwed-up her life would become...

Well, i don't know if I will continue this. PLEASE PLEASE review and maybe I will. Also check out PYRO, my other story.


	2. They're teaching WHAT!

**More Crazehh advenchas!!!!!! (Wit de Bohemians)**

BOHEMIANS IN MY BEDROOM PART II

RentFreak woke up to Maureen's face. More specifically, Maureen's face MOOING.

"AAAAGH!" cried RentFreak.

""EEEEEEK!" cried Maureen.

"Honeybear, time to get up." said Joanne (adressing Maureen).

Suddenly, everyone else appeared in RentFreak's room, which became quite crowded.

"I have to leave for school" RentFreak said. "I drive myself. Want me to bring you with...?" (There was an unterior motive to this. She DID NOT WANT Roger and Mimi left alone in her house for eight hours).

"Suuuuuure..." everyone said.

ONE HOUR LATER

AT NUNSIDE HIGH SCHOOL

Collins made an excellent psychology sub teacher. Already he was imparting his theories to students. Somehow the people in charge of the school bought the theory that Maureen was a new cafeteria lady, working in The Panther's Paw, the in school cafe. Joanne passed herself off as the new lawyer. Mimi, with an extra uniform, went as an exchange student. Angel, well, Angel kept Marky-poo out of trouble. Roger decided "Oh, why don't I become the new music teacher" and this would have been fine if not for one TEENY problem...

NUNSIDE HIGH WAS AN ALL-GIRLS SCHOOL.

"Aaa! Help! They're mobbing me!" Roger cried, the last thing they heard before someone shut the music room door and Roger disappeared into a crowd of fawning fangirls.

And just like that, the most hectic day of RentFreak's life began...


	3. Collins, Professor of Psych

**COLLINS' ADVENTURES IN THE PSYCH CLASSROOM**

"So...any questions regarding the oatmeal-and-iPod theory?" Prof. Collins asked his class of seniors at Nunside High.

"I have a question, sir, but not about the theory." said one girl.

Thinking it was about the bank-machine-and-heavenly-apparitions theory, he replied "Go ahead."

"Where did you get your coat?" asked the girl. "It seems to have come off the street."

"What if it did?" Collins said, getting defensive. "It's alot better than yours with the rabbit fur trim, do you know how many bunnies died for it?!"

"No! It's fake fur!" said the snobby girl.

"Oh really? READ ITS TAG."

All the girls leaned in as one read the tag out loud.

**"One hundred percent authentic rabbit fur."**

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!" the girl wearing the jacket cried.

"Did you not listen to the rabbit-fur-and-global-warming theory?!" Collins cried.

One girl spoke up. "The less cute and fuzzy animals alive the more the world warms due to lack of fl00fy fur, sir!"

"EXACTLY!" bellowed Collins. "DO YOU WANT TO BE PART OF THE PROBLEM?!"

"Let's burn it!" said the girl.

"YEAHHH!" cried everyone else.

"But isn't that illegal?" said another girl sitting in the corner.

"Let's give it to Mr. G. in the chem lab! We can use the Bunsen Burner!" said another.

"YEEEAHH!!" cried everyone.

And so the entire Psychology 102 class silently scampered down the hall towards the chem. lab...


	4. Maureen Moos Again

**Maureen's Adventures in the Panther's Paw**

"Hi there, I'm Mrs. Welsh, and welcome to the Panther's Paw."

"Um...yeah-huh, I'm here to, like, work?" said Maureen.

"Sure thing, sweetie, just put on this here apron and start stacking the muffins."

-ABOUT TWENTY THREE POINT SEVEN MINUTES LATER-

Maureen was outside the cafe in the "mall", the cafeteria/gathering place/big empty space. Only right now it wasn't so empty. It was filled with a lunch period, and as Maureen scanned it, looking for something to protest, and she found it.In one corner was a shy, quiet girl who appeared to be minding her own business. Unfortunatley she did not see the preps move in until it was TOOOO LAAAAATE!!!

"Where did you get those shoes? Goodwill?" one asked.

"Uhhhh," said the innocent girl in the corner. "Actually yes."

The preps all laughed. "And what are you eating?"

"It would appear to be a coffee cake muffin." said the girl eating the muffin (we'll call her Jane for confusion reasons).

"No wonder you're a slow runner." said the prep's leader. "Fat cow."

Maureen heard that and just blew her top. For one thing, Jane wasn't fat! And for another, Maureen LIKED cows. She liked them A LOT. _COWS WERE HER FRIENDS._

"Hey, you!" she said to another girl. "Why isn't anyone sticking up for that girl?"

"Oh, that one? She's weird."

"Well, how is she weird?"

"Like...she doesn't talk alot...and when she does she's loud. And she likes weird music and stuff..."

"That's no reason to be mean to her!" said Maureen, her protestor's mind gaining strength. "I...I...I protest that!" Maureen jumped up on the table and cried to the world, "HEY EVERYONE!!!!! COWS ROCK!"

Everyone started back at Maureen. But she was used to stares (everyone always stared at her funny) and she proceeded with what she was doing.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she mooed. "Come on, Nunside High! Let me hear ya! Moo with me!"

And like a true miracle, a small moo from across the mall came. "Moo!"

"MOOO!"

"MMMMMOO!"

"MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

It was a beautiful sight. The evil people were driven from the mall in shame. Of course, the principle came in at that moment. And obviously she assumed Maureen was doing something BAD. So Maureen dashed down the hall towards a room, which, unbeknownst to her but beknownst to us, was the chem lab...


	5. Multiple Personality Joanne

**8 reviews so far- thanks so much everyone who's reviewed! (And if you haven't reviewed...WOE BETIDE YE.)**

"Are you Ms. Jefferson, the new lawyer?"

"Yes, I am." Joanne replied.

"Good, can you get a start on this paperwork?"

"Paperwork? _PAPERWORK?! _**I am Joanne Jefferson! _I don't do no stinkin' paperwork!"_**

"I'm sorry..." said the cringing middle-aged balding man, his name was Larry and he had a wife and three kids. And right now he was even more scared of this scary lady then he had been by the mooing lady when he went into the Panther's Paw for a bite to eat. (Larry was easily startled).

"Now then. Is there anything other than paperwork that needs to be done?" she said, sitting down and being all civil.

"W-w-well, some students have put together a petition for a casual friday..."

"Lovely!" said Joanne.

"We need you to go and find a loophole to shoot it down."

"**WHAT?!_ You venemous slurthy sloth, how dare you attempt to restrict the creative expressive mind?!_** I AM A BOHEMIAN!!!!!!!_**Creativity is everything, even to a lawyer like myself!!!!!"**_

Poor Larry. He was so completely surprised that he fell over backwards in his chair. Joanne probably would have done something else just as drastic, but just then she saw a familiar brunette blur rush by in the hallway.

"Pookie?!" she gasped, exiting the office and joining the chase...

* * *


	6. Mimi don't take no BEEP

**Whoa, still cant believe this is the 6th chapter.**

**Merry Christmas, yo.**

"And your name is?"

"Mimi Marquez, Senor." said Mimi to the teacher.

Mimi was very, very nervous. For one thing, she was a 19-year-old stripper attempting to pass as a senior. For another, Mimi had actually never completed high school. She had only gone to freshman year in a public high school. Then she had had to drop out and take care of herself. Anyway.

"So, can anyone tell me what the life cycle of a frog is?" said the teacher.

"Ummm...""Er...""Not really..."

"Great! We're going to dissect a frog right now!"

_DISSECT_. A. **FROG.**

Mimi did NOT want to dissect that. Matter of fact, she wanted to find Roger and maybe snuggle a bit. But, she couldn't blow everyone else's cover.

"Would someone take this message to Ms. Schwellenvack's room?" asked the teacher. Mimi's arm was up in the air before anyone else's.

But as she took the message and walked out of the room, she spied the teacher staring up her skirt. Ok, so it was a short skirt (after all, RentFreak was five inches shorter than she). And so she had the best legs above 13th street. But that was still unacceptable!

SO MIMI PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE AND RAN OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

Into a random direction...

**Sorry so short. But hey, it's Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas, everyone! Review as a christmas/hanukkah/solstice/kwanzaa present to me!**


	7. Angel as a cheerleader!

"But Angel, I want to film stuff!"

"No, no, Mark, honey, you have to have a liscense to do it on school property. Remember the drug bust incident?"

Mark and Angel were wandering around the school trying to avoid detection, which is rather difficult when you are a young, good-looking film-maker filming everything that moves and some things that don't and a 6-foot drag queen. They tried getting something to eat in the cafe, but the lady was throwing muffins everywhere so they thought it would be best for their health if they stayed out.

Suddenley, they heard a noise coming from inside the gym!!!

It was the cheerleaders, doing a last-minute during-the-day practice in a desperate bid to get the routine just right.

"Come on everybody!" said Jewel Clockly. "Let's get this routine right! Step to the right, left, center, NO! To the _left, _people, _to the left!"_

"Excuse me!" said Angel, approaching them- to Mark's utter horror. "I think I can help you."

"Thank God." said Jewel. "We have to cheer at a game tonight and something just isn't right. I don't quite know what it is..."

"I like your shoes." said one girl.

"Thanks." said Angel. "Payless."

"Ahemm! Everyone, can we focus please!" said Jewel, getting agitated.

"Ok." said Angel. "Well, the first thing that's wrong is your music. Music is the food of love and emotion, you know, you gotta pick it right." She flipped through the CDs and selected a mix. She put it on and "Kisses of the Sun" came blaring.

Everyone, assured of Angel's godessness, gathered around. Mark turned his camera on quietly.

"Here we have Angel Dumott-Schunard, teaching the cheerleaders of the all-girls Nunside High how REAL cheerleaders cheer. Who knew?"

"And step to the right, to the left, slide, spin around- heel only, chica- BIG winding motion with the hand, and then the piece de resistance- the coat maneuver!" (The coat maneuver was the motion Mimi made with her long jacket at Maureen's protest, of course. And what else could the winding motion be but the winding of the camera?)

"Thanks so much, Angel!"

"Yeah, you rock, homegirl."

"We'll so totally win the game!"

"Thanks for all the help."

And so Angel slipped away, but realized she had to go to the bathroom. She slipped into the men's bathroom. And nobody would have noticed except the girl's bathroom had run out of paper towels and a student needed to dry her hands. So she caught Angel exiting the bathroom. And obviously, this was an extremely uptight, conservative girl.

"SHE'S A HE!!!!!!" she cried.

"Uh-oh." said Angel Dumott-Schunard.

"Run!!!!" said Mark.

And they did...


	8. In Which Roger Teaches People To Sing

**Well here's chapter 8 up! AhhH! I can't believe it! Thank you everyone for you reviews. Next chapter after this will be the climax of the story! Nobody should miss it! And without further adieu...**

IN THE MUSIC ROOM...

_The last time we saw our dashing hero Roger he was being dragged under by a crowd of fawning fangirls..._

_Let us see how he has fared..._

Roger looked out at the music class. After he managed to pull them all off (using his mighty Guitar Power(C)) and finally, after an hour of strenous work, finally had them singing something ON KEY.

"Alright, tenors, your line..."

"Leap of faith, leap of faith..."

"And altos-"

"Oooooo..."

"Now you, sopranos..."

"Only thing to do is jump, over the moon, over the moon, OVER the...moooooon."

"YES! HAHAHAHAHA! YES!!" cried Roger, rolling on the floor in ecstasy. "We can sing! We can actually sing!!"

Then he heard dashing footsteps outside the room. He looked out and oh wow Mimi was wearing a short skirt and-

MIMI?!?!

Roger dashed out the door following his beloved girlfriend, leaving the fangirls sobbing.


	9. THE AMAZING FINALE!

**THE STUNNING FINALE YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!!!!!!!!**

_Nunside High School Science Lab_

Mr. Ger was only trying to teach a chemistry class...fate had other plans.

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP cam footsteps in the hallway! They were all headed for the somewhat central science lab.

SUDDENELY, THE DOORS BURST OPEN

AND THE BOHEMIANS RUSHED IN FROM DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Mark!""Angel!""Tommy!""Pookie!""Honeybear!""Roggy!""Mimi!!!!!!"

They slipped and slid across the floor to the shelf where all the dangerous chemicals were kept because the floor had been recently waxed! OH NO!!! (A/N Sorry.) They slid-helplessly- towards the Big Bad Shelf...and COLLIDED.

A great big puff of multi-colored smoke went up. The bohemians were immersed in different goos and gels and liquids that looked and smelled and (in Maureen's case) tasted weird. They slowly began to pull themselves out. The shocked class sat frozen in their seats and there was suck silence everyone heard...THE PRINCIPAL COMING DOWN THE HALL.

"We don't need a new music teacher, Mr. Collar is just out sick! And we didn't hire a new lawyer!...no, no, I didn't ask for an extra cafe worker...and we certainly did not recently take in a Spanish exchange student, we aren't expecting one for another 2 months! Will someone tell me whats going on...and what IS that smell!?"

"Oooooh shit..." said everyone.

"Schnikeys!" said one girl, who slipped the lock on the window. "Quick, out this way you crazy people!"

The bohemians climbed out and hid out on the elementary school playground for the rest of the day.

BACK AT RENTFREAK'S PLACE

"Guy's, I'm so glad that I figured out how to get you home during my study hall...but I'm really going to miss you!"

"Nobody misses a bunch of AIDS-afflicted junkies, honey." said Angel. "It's just a fact."

"No, you guys really made a difference! The cheerleaders can actually cheer now! And...and half the senior class is taking a stand for animal rights! And the popular kids aren't picking on the unpopular ones...guys, I WILL miss you."

After mucho tender hugs (and a purloined kiss from Mark because Mark is hot) the bohemians stepped through the closet as RentFreak ran the water at exactly 102.7 degress farenheight. There was a mildly warm bright light, and POOF...nothing left but old clothes.

**Three Days later...**

RentFreak awoke in the early hours of the morning as strange noises came from the cupboard under the sink. She figured it was just the wonky piping, but decided to look in case it was a mouse or something.

When she opened the door, she saw to very pretty brown eyes staring at her.

"MIMI!!!!" she exclaimed quietly.

And then Joanne came out, followed closely by Maureen, Roger, Collins, Angel, and of course marky-poo.

"The hell are you guys doing here!" she whisper-shouted.

"We were trying to turn on the water in the loft." said Joanne.

"Figures." said RentFreak.

"Yeah, but something funny happened at our previous visit..."

"What is it?"

"We gained superpowers."

**Dun dun dun! here's the deal. Tell me if you want me to continue. Five reviews- JUST FIVE TELL YOUR FRIENDS- assures a sequeal. More than 5 and I will start dancing on the tables singing "La Vie Boheme" at my all girls catholic school with my renthead friends!**


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